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Showing posts from 2017

God's Church or Family Conglomerate?

When you have a mind like mine that decides to stay awake at some odd hours, you can’t help but pick up the laptop and write. So here is what I am pondering on:   Have you ever wondered why and how God’s business has been made some kind of a family conglomerate? Due to the fact that churches today are being run like a company where multiple activities are carried out, there is the need to want to keep things in family. What happened to what Jesus meant about “going about my Father’s business...” in Luke 2:41-52? I know you might say church matter is still a business. I get that part, but what I don’t get is when some people go as far as working so hard to keep it in the family. That is, a minister sets ups a church, then grooms his son, daughter, or son in-law to take over in the case where he is no longer able to run the affairs of the church. Please someone tell me, where is it in the Bible that such act should be practiced? And please for Pete’s sake, don’t you dare tell me a

Gratitude: One Key to fighting depression.

As a counseling intern, I have been privileged to sit in a room with some of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life. Now, I say that with all sincerity. They are amazing to me because of what they have had to, and continue to endure. However, one common theme with every of my clients is the depression and anxiety they present. You may say, but everyone goes through issues, they ought to get over themselves, suck it up and get on with life; I can imagine you say that because I have thought that way, though I never said it out loud, but in getting to know these people, I find out that it takes a lot more to get out of your "funk," and just be happy. While some require medication, others just require to be taught some coping skills. One coping skill that has worked for me personally when I find myself in a "funk" is what I gladly share with my clients. There is power in finding something to be grateful for in life. When Solomon wrote in Proverbs 17: 22

I know who I am...

I have never being placed in such a situation where I have to question who I am. The good thing is, I know better now not to accept or believe the lies of the devil, about who or what he thinks I am. I know me enough now to know who God has called me to be. You may wonder why I am ranting on, I will tell you;  I have never being so challenged in my life as I am being, presently at my work. With things happening that I cannot even make out, I have had to sometimes catch myself questioning my worth and ability. I know I have been called to this, but why do I let what I hear get to me sometimes? All of these questions I asked myself, and then what I hear within is "I know who I am." So regardless of what anyone thinks, or what I am being forced to accept (which I refuse to), I know who I am, and I know that God has not given me the Spirit of fear, but of power, love and of a sound mind. I will continue to do me, stay teachable, ever learning, and trust that things are happenin

It's a War!!!

Today's message at church was very powerful as always. I felt that my pastor was speaking directly to me, and reminding me that as believers, we are constantly at war, we are fighting an unseen battle. The Bible reminds us in 1 Peter 5:8, that the devil our adversary goes about like an angry lion, looking for a prey to devour (paraphrased). The thing is we are not preys, but mighty warriors, we have been equipped with all that we need to take down the enemy who constantly is at war with us to steal our joy, make us feel miserable, hate ourselves, question and doubt God's promises for us. I am reminded that my fight is not against what I can see happening around me, but that which I do not see, which the enemy, the devil tries to occupy my mind with. SO dear Lord, today  as I am reminded, I thank you that the battle has been won. I thank you for your grace that enables me to keep keeping on when I feel like rolling up the towel, I ask that your word will continue to be a const

Dream your dream...

Hmmm, it's funny how people have a subtle way of sending insults your way. But you know what? I have learned to take it with a grain of salt & smile like I just don't get it, cos that's my way of not getting offended by them & giving them control over me. Never mind what this "person" said to me. Whatever has, and is always been said to me, have been and are always my energizer tools to keep going forward, doing me and getting what I deserve, even when in there own narrow mind, I don't deserve it or I am to old & outdated for it. The little girl inside every grown woman has a desire and a dream, so no matter how long it takes that to be achieved, another person cannot dictate to you how you should receive it or if you should still want it. Don't settle for less, whatever you desire can still be a reality regardless of how old you are or what the world or especially people you hold so dear think about you. Hold your head up high, k

The Pursuit of God

For those who know me, I never get tired of talking about my 9yrs old daughter, because she cracks me up all the time, and in all of the cracking up and wow(ment), I learn life lessons from just being around her. About a month ago, I had to go away for a little over a week for school. While I was away, missing my daughter so much, I found myself having to beg for a phone call from her. There was this thought that kept running in my head "my little girl is growing so fast, she doesn't even miss me as much as I do her." Time to get back from my long trip, got to pick her up from her friend's, she gave me a hug that on my account, wasn't what I expected. On our ride back home, I was so quick to let her know how much I had missed her, and how her not returning same was hurting my feelings; yeah, me trying to guilt the little girl (hey, I'm a mom, we're good at that). I liked her honesty though, "mom I'm sorry I didn't miss you as much as you wan

Your perspective determines your reaction.

Could it be that we limit ourselves by our unbelief and by the way we choose to view our circumstances? Jonathan in 1 Samuel 4 was not moved by what he saw around him, but trusted in the fact that God will move regardless of the number. All it takes to move God's hand to action is a believing heart, a faith that is unshaken, a faith that says, "I see the multitude, I see the mountain of problems, but I have a bigger God." Your perspective either keeps you alive or lead you to death. How you choose to view life has a lot to do with how you respond to it. Change the  perspective of your situation, you change your whole life. Being a single parent, the biggest struggle has always been meeting financial needs. For a longtime, I felt like my life would be better and more fun when I have lots of money, or reach some kind of financial freedom. As time went on, and I began to learn more about myself, I realized that I am already rich, yes you heard me, "I am rich." I

A Christian, A Muslim & A Buddhist.

A Christian, a Muslim and a Buddhist,  all 3, women seated together in one room over coffee and cake in celebration of the Christian's birthday, how interesting. The topic of discussion went from work, beliefs and life in general. Being that we all come from different Countries, we talked about our Countries and the problems plaguing third world nations. The biggest take away for me was how we respectfully talked about our religious beliefs, and coming to an agreement that change for every man starts from within, regardless of your religious beliefs. And that a person who is completely transformed from the inside cannot hide the transformation, for it will reflect in his/her actions and how they relate to others. Had I gone into the conversation with these wonderful ladies, closed minded, like the old me used to, I would have been on the defensive and not have a productive conversation or get to know them more. You don't have to change your beliefs to accommodate people you m

Detours are blessings in disguise.

I remember 10yrs ago, as I was approaching 30, I had mixed feeling; fear of the unknown, and questions about my achievements and contribution to this wonderful world. I also had fears of physical changes in my body. Just name it, I had all these feelings. When I should have been praising and thanking God for how far I had come, I chose to focus on the exterior and how I had failed myself, family and the Society. Amidst all of the mixed feelings, I was thinking about how I was adjusting well to my new life of single motherhood. On May 26, a week from today to be precise, I will be turning 40, yes, you heard me, and I so do not look a day like 40... Thank God for my parents genes and my great sense of humor (my daughter says I’m like a little girl on the inside).   My attitude approaching the big 40 is so different from 10yrs ago when I turned 30. Not to worry, I will tell you why. You see, prior to turning 30, I was just a desperate young single lady, I didn’t know who I was, d

An Adoption Story

When my daughter turned 5, some years ago, she wanted a pet, and because of our busy lives, we decided a cat would be better for right now, even though she would have preferred a little puppy. On a cat hunt we went (not really). Thankfully on one faithful day at work, my discussion with a coworker led to my putting the word out there that I was in need of a cat for my daughter, and this coworker happen to have a neighbor who was giving out kittens that were running around in his farm. So on that weekend, my daughter & I accompanied by my niece & great niece, we set out on an adventure of a lifetime to go bring out baby home. The excitement was overwhelming, the uncertainty was apparent, along we went anyways. After a wonderful horse ride, we headed to the neighbor’s farm to go get our baby. My daughter wanted a female cat, and all the while we were focused on getting a black female cat, there was this gray and white cutie that had his eyes fixed on us, I guess you can say, he

DRIVE...

Sometime ago, in the middle of the night, I was awoken from sleep by this question that was so resounding in my spirit; "...What drives you?" Not even stopping for a second to think it through, I quickly said "Lord you know... my love for Christ, for the things of God, drives me." In as much as that sounded  great, I bet the Holy Spirit wanted me to go deeper in my response, after all He knows, He bears witness with my Spirit and knows my actual thoughts and feelings, which is that I truly meant what I said, though my action says otherwise sometimes. You maybe  wondering,  ok "where is this going?" Stay with me now, we're going somewhere... As time went on this question continued to hit me, then I realized I was really supposed to go deeper with my response. Yes, as a Jesus fanatic, my love for the Father, which cannot in ANYWAY measure up to that which He has for me, drives me to want to seek His face more, be like Him in every way, and this I real

Conversation between a mother & daughter...

“Mama, I see you chewing gum, can I have some? And my response, “There’s no more gum hun, I took the last one” She then picks up the empty pack to make sure I was telling the truth. Who does that? At that moment, being the sensitive human that I am, I lashed out and made her feel really bad for not believing in me enough to just take my word for it. Hey before you crucify me for taking it so personal, this is not the first time such conversation has taken place between us, but for some reason, on this day, I took this really personal. It was so hurtful to think that my own child that knows I would give her the world in a heartbeat didn’t even trust my words. In my sensitive moment, I heard in my spirit; “If you feel this way, imagine how I feel when you don’t believe my promises to you.” That thought caught me at my tracks, and I quickly apologized to my daughter for lashing out, and explained calmly to her how it makes me feel when she doubts my words. Now let’s apply the above s

What really is your heart's intention?

We see in Numbers 22 how God finally agrees for Balaam to go answer to the call of Balak, but on the condition that he will speak only what God puts on his heart, which was that he couldn't curse the children of the Israelite. Trust humans, Balaam, though in agreement with God, had his own intentions. He probably thought in his heart to get there and twist God's words around (just my 21st century thinking). We know that God is all knowing, He knows our thoughts even before we think them. Did Balaam really think he could outsmart God? how silly, right? Anyhow, God knowing his thoughts, embarked on what I would like to call a battle with Balaam, and being the typical human, he couldn't even see or sense what was happening; he was probably lost in his thought, drawing out a strategic way to twist God's word around (reminds us of how we are sometimes, right?). It took a talking donkey for Balaam to realize what was happening in the invisible realm, and right in front of him

Giving in the Church...

              As a little girl in church,  I remember practicing and reciting Malachi 3:8 "Will a man rob God? yet you rob me. "But you ask, 'How do we rob you?' In tithes and offerings." This verse has stuck with me ever since, that even asleep, you ask me to recite it I will be very quick to, without blinking. My tithing and giving offering, even when it was not convenient stemmed from my awareness of the above. From what I can remember, and what is still happening today, ministers do whatever it takes to make people give without taking into consideration their financial situation. All kinds of manipulation, you just name it, is being used in churches today. At some points, I felt that my financial hardship was tied to my not tithing or giving consistently or when asked. And when I did give, there was not much difference in my situation. As I started to mature and understand more about the word of God, I realized that We do not have to tithe, since we are und

Court of Heaven; What it means...

To appear in the court of heaven.      I had a moment where I was battling within myself, with my own thoughts concerning a response I had given to a friend earlier in the day. It felt like I was being accused of something I didn't do, or that wasn't insinuated. When I couldn't focus on my music anymore, I turned it down to respond to the accusation in my thought/mind, I should say now. I responded by praying, and refusing what was being forced on me. After I prayed in tongues, and made some declarations, I felt at peace.  Later in the day, I picked up a book on my kindle to read, titled "Defeating your Adversary in the Court of Heaven." by the Praying Medic, only to realize that what I encountered earlier, was me being summoned to the court of accusation by the accuser, and my responding granted me justice in the form of the peace I felt. This made me wonder how many times I have ignored such calls, and let the devil get an upper hand in my situation, or how